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The Four Great Myths of Global Branding. One of these days one of you guys out there who has signing authority over those really big checks that get written to guys like me for telling guys like you what to do...won't. That's right. You're gonna tap that pencil you love to tap while we're pitching you the latest "Must Do's" for the brand, and then it will come to you. |
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An Epiphany. "That's it," you'll whisper. "I've heard enough," you'll mutter. "Out," you'll exclaim. And out we'll go. The minute we leave, you will swivel around in your chair, look to the horizon from your corner office, snap your pencil and state to the world at large, "They must think I'm some kind of ( insert expletive) idiot." |
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It
seems like your years in advertising have made you a very cynical,
bitter, individual. I can feel your pain in some of the things you
write. – Dick Z. New Orleans |
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I
went to your Broadway ltd. website and played all the flash movies.
What I don't get is why you are wasting time doing this adblog crap
when you could be making that story into a great movie or something-
S.R. Hollywood |
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Then you will pick up the phone and order your minions to cancel, cancel, cancel as much as they can, as fast as they can. I'm positive that's what Ian Beavis, svp of marketing, product planning and public relations at Mitsubishi Motors North America did, right before he pulled his company's $300 million out of Network Television after the network Upfront Markets last May. Of course for all of his bravado then, Mr. Bevis is now the EX- svp of marketing, product planning and public relations at Mitsubishi Motors North America, as of this past Friday. So much for bucking the system in Corporate America. But you don't have to buck the system just to know when you're being taken for a ride. Mr. Bevis looked at his return on investment with interactive marketing and looked at the ROI on his Network buy and made what he believed to be the prudent business decision. Problem was that pesky third title of his. The "and public relations," part. " Hi NBC. We just pulled our entire schedule off your network. See you at our booth at the National Auto Show." Or how about, " I know how you dealers love those hot, hot, hot TV spots with the skank sisters lip-synching the words to the hits and doing those edgy little seat dances...well forgettaboutem. We're doing $300 million in pop up ads. Live with it." The First Great Myth In Global Branding. Marketing Defines The Brand. Marketing has a hard enough time getting the customer to pay attention to what's being sold, let alone trying to influence consumers on the warm and fuzzies about who they're buying it from. So the next time some wanker tries to convince you that consumers love brands because they offer an extra value, in addition to that of their core product or service, ask them to define in precise terms exactly the nature of said value. "Hmmm, Mitsubishi...wasn't that the builder of the Zero fighter planes that those 14 year old Kamikaze pilots dumped on the decks of U.S. battle groups in the Layte Gulf at the end of W.W.II?" is how my dad put it as he passed their dealership and rolled into the Ford lot across the street to buy his new SUV. But damn, those slut sisters do a mean lip sync. Marketing doesn't define the brand. History defines the brand. Experience, personal or referred defines the brand. Comparison defines the brand. The Second Great Myth In Global Branding. Advertising Defines The Brand. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" a great man once asked. The response of millions upon millions of children of all ages yelling at the top of their decibel range...SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!! And tagging along on the coat tails of this bonified phenomena comes the supposedly reborn Burger King. You remember them? The guys who fired Y&R and hired edgy Miamians Chrispin, Porter & Bogusky ( of Mini fame) to build an ad campaign to end all ad campaigns that would put their lack luster brand on par with Mickey D's and KFC. Yeah, those guys. Well here's a report from the front. The Spongebob movie is packing them in, but the best Crispin, Porter and Bogusky can muster is a spot that shows some loser running around an office lunchroom ( huh?) asking his coworkers "What time is it?," so he can flash his Spongebob watch, which they all seem to have. The spot looks like it was shot at the agency by the mailroom guys. But that's not the worst of it. This past Holiday weekend Burger King is in the news because of the widespread theft of the eight foot inflatable Spongebobs from several BK outlets. And add to that the most unfathomable gaff of all. Said Spongebobby is a fry cook at a deep-sea eatery. His specialty is a fast food delight that has achieved mythical status. THE CRABBY PATTY. Who was the advertising genius who said, "Let's spend millions and millions on licensing fees for SBSP chotchkas but not one red cent on restaging our fried fish sandwich into a "Crabby Patty. Instead, we'll use this golden opportunity to introduce our new Angus Burger." No boys and girls. Advertising does not define the brand. But dumb advertising can tear down the most durable brand equity in a matter of weeks. Not only for the brand, but for the agency as well. Especially an agency with a name like Bogus...ky. The Third Great Myth In Global Branding. A Consistent and Total Brand Experience Defines The Brand. Watch this. Before you get to the next great myth, I'm going to tell you a little story that will show you how impossible the above statement is to manage or effect. The word "Total" when dealing with a global brand is expected to diminish somewhat as the distance from the seat of power increases. But what if the distance is only four blocks from the Chairman's Office? What if the brand is considered the most powerful and pervasive of its kind in the world? What if that one small incident is absolute proof of the larger cancer that has eaten away at the brand for the last ten years? I live and work in the Hollywood Hills. My soon to be three year old daughter goes to Preschool classes and play group just over the hill in Burbank. This means that we are patrons as well as contributors to the Burbank Library on Buena Vista Blvd. As with libraries all across the country, the Burbank Library has limited funds and is dependent upon the generosity of others to provide the children with books and videos to stir and develop their imaginations. Each year the library's nearest corporate neighbor provides the library with a grand total of four books to help it carry out its mission. Would you care to guess who their nearest corporate neighbor is? Is it NBC? Noooo. Is it Warner Bros.? Noooo. How about those jolly folks who bring you the happiest place on Earth? Bingo! Yup, Those folks who are so obsessive about their brand and image that they gift wrap tampons before they sell them at D-Land and take Day Care centers to court for allowing children to use their characters in wall murals, also ration out the least possible amount of freebies to their neighborhood library. How's that piece of info for your total brand experience? Is that enough definition for you? Total Brand Experience doesn't define a brand. Total User Experience both good AND bad defines a brand. The Fourth Great Myth In Global Branding. Brand Character Defines the Brand. O.J. Simpson and Hertz. Madonna and Pepsi. Kobe Bryant and the Nike, Coke and McDonald's endorsements that paid but never got played. Then there's Brittany and Beyonce dusted by Pepsi and Celine Dion dropped by Chrysler. Can you say good money after bad? I worked on the Victory Tour when Time-Life broke the photo of Mikey Jackson drinking Diet Coke at the recording session for "We Are The World." How exactly did that "define" the Pepsi Brand? If Greatness By Association worked, we would have more ex-roadies and groupies wining Grammies and more make-up people and personal trainers wining Oscars for Best Performance by a Member of the Entourage ( Jon Peters and Steven Seagal not withstanding.) Brand Character doesn't define the Brand. Corporate Character defines the Brand. WorldCom can change it's name to MCI for the next hundred years and still not sidestep the stench. Flagstar can fire everybody at Denny's and still not be embraced by a single black person. And Martha Stewart Living? I'm not running out to buy that stock. Are you? The character of a brand is built by its customers not its managers. Apple kicked out Steve Jobs and cut its own throat, yet when Eisner thought he was bigger than Disney, he took a round to the head. So what is it that builds a great brand if not marketing, advertising, experience and character? Mythology builds great brands. And where do all mythologies begin? With one simple tactic that was used many years ago when McCann-Ericson built Coca-Cola into the greatest brand the world has ever known. The truth, well told.
What's Going On? A few weeks back I happened to read that TiVO boxes or a similar commercial zapping technology would be present in at least 33% of domestic households by the end of next year. (That was before they announced the abandonment of that product feature that made us all tremble.) I also read that the proliferation of broadband and the availability of video on demand over VideOIP would be wired into 72% of domestic households by 2006. Add to that the projected 22% slide in network viewership that has been pegged for 2006 and you have some fairly dark days ahead for the venerable 30 second television spot. People like me are telling their clients ( and people like you) that the giant sucking sound they are about to hear is the bulk of the American Public looking for electronic holes in the sand to stick their heads into to escape the coming hard times ahead. Then telling them to get in the hole business as fast as they can. Entertainment is poised to become the new opiate of the masses. And the smart money is already staking out their claim on this volatile mental real estate. Madison Avenue is clueless. Park Avenue is beginning to pay attention. The Networks are loosing ground fast. New players are looking at a global playing field. It's starting to get interesting. Stay Tuned. |
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MARKETERS
FROM OGILVY
& MATHER ADRANTS BANK
OF AMERICA DELTA
AIR LINES And
You. |