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Then
you will pick up the phone and order your minions to cancel, cancel,
cancel as much as they can, as fast as they can. I'm positive that's
what Ian Beavis, svp of marketing, product planning and public relations
at Mitsubishi Motors North America did, right before he pulled his
company's $300 million out of Network Television after the network
Upfront Markets last May.
Of
course for all of his bravado then, Mr. Bevis is now the EX- svp
of marketing, product planning and public relations at Mitsubishi
Motors North America, as of this past Friday.
So
much for bucking the system in Corporate America. But you don't
have to buck the system just to know when you're being taken for
a ride. Mr. Bevis looked at his return on investment with interactive
marketing and looked at the ROI on his Network buy and made what
he believed to be the prudent business decision. Problem was that
pesky third title of his. The "and public relations,"
part. " Hi NBC. We just pulled our entire schedule off your
network. See you at our booth at the National Auto Show."
Or
how about, " I know how you dealers love those hot, hot, hot
TV spots with the skank sisters lip-synching the words to the hits
and doing those edgy little seat dances...well forgettaboutem. We're
doing $300 million in pop up ads. Live with it."
The
First Great Myth In Global Branding. Marketing Defines The Brand.
Marketing
has a hard enough time getting the customer to pay attention to
what's being sold, let alone trying to influence consumers on the
warm and fuzzies about who they're buying it from. So the next time
some wanker tries to convince you that consumers love brands because
they offer an extra value, in addition to that of their core product
or service, ask them to define in precise terms exactly the nature
of said value.
"Hmmm,
Mitsubishi...wasn't that the builder of the Zero fighter planes
that those 14 year old Kamikaze pilots dumped on the decks of U.S.
battle groups in the Layte Gulf at the end of W.W.II?" is how
my dad put it as he passed their dealership and rolled into the
Ford lot across the street to buy his new SUV. But damn, those slut
sisters do a mean lip sync.
Marketing
doesn't define the brand. History defines the brand. Experience,
personal or referred defines the brand. Comparison defines the brand.
The
Second Great Myth In Global Branding. Advertising Defines The Brand.
"Who
lives in a pineapple under the sea?" a great man once asked.
The response of millions upon millions of children of all ages yelling
at the top of their decibel range...SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!
And
tagging along on the coat tails of this bonified phenomena comes
the supposedly reborn Burger King. You remember them? The guys who
fired Y&R and hired edgy Miamians Chrispin, Porter & Bogusky
( of Mini fame) to build an ad campaign to end all ad campaigns
that would put their lack luster brand on par with Mickey D's and
KFC. Yeah, those guys. Well here's a report from the front.
The
Spongebob movie is packing them in, but the best Crispin, Porter
and Bogusky can muster is a spot that shows some loser running around
an office lunchroom ( huh?) asking his coworkers "What time
is it?," so he can flash his Spongebob watch, which they all
seem to have. The spot looks like it was shot at the agency by the
mailroom guys. But that's not the worst of it.
This
past Holiday weekend Burger King is in the news because of the widespread
theft of the eight foot inflatable Spongebobs from several BK outlets.
And add to that the most unfathomable gaff of all. Said Spongebobby
is a fry cook at a deep-sea eatery. His specialty is a fast food
delight that has achieved mythical status. THE CRABBY PATTY.
Who
was the advertising genius who said, "Let's spend millions
and millions on licensing fees for SBSP chotchkas but not one red
cent on restaging our fried fish sandwich into a "Crabby Patty.
Instead, we'll use this golden opportunity to introduce our new
Angus Burger."
No
boys and girls. Advertising does not define the brand. But dumb
advertising can tear down the most durable brand equity in a matter
of weeks. Not only for the brand, but for the agency as well. Especially
an agency with a name like Bogus...ky.
The
Third Great Myth In Global Branding. A Consistent and Total Brand
Experience Defines The Brand.
Watch
this. Before you get to the next great myth, I'm going to tell you
a little story that will show you how impossible the above statement
is to manage or effect. The word "Total" when dealing
with a global brand is expected to diminish somewhat as the distance
from the seat of power increases. But what if the distance is only
four blocks from the Chairman's Office? What if the brand is considered
the most powerful and pervasive of its kind in the world? What if
that one small incident is absolute proof of the larger cancer that
has eaten away at the brand for the last ten years?
I
live and work in the Hollywood Hills. My soon to be three year old
daughter goes to Preschool classes and play group just over the
hill in Burbank. This means that we are patrons as well as contributors
to the Burbank Library on Buena Vista Blvd. As with libraries all
across the country, the Burbank Library has limited funds and is
dependent upon the generosity of others to provide the children
with books and videos to stir and develop their imaginations. Each
year the library's nearest corporate neighbor provides the library
with a grand total of four books to help it carry out its mission.
Would you care to guess who their nearest corporate neighbor is?
Is it NBC? Noooo. Is it Warner Bros.? Noooo. How about those jolly
folks who bring you the happiest place on Earth? Bingo!
Yup,
Those folks who are so obsessive about their brand and image that
they gift wrap tampons before they sell them at D-Land and take
Day Care centers to court for allowing children to use their characters
in wall murals, also ration out the least possible amount of freebies
to their neighborhood library. How's that piece of info for your
total brand experience? Is that enough definition for you?
Total
Brand Experience doesn't define a brand. Total User Experience both
good AND bad defines a brand.
The
Fourth Great Myth In Global Branding. Brand Character Defines the
Brand.
O.J.
Simpson and Hertz. Madonna and Pepsi. Kobe Bryant and the Nike,
Coke and McDonald's endorsements that paid but never got played.
Then there's Brittany and Beyonce dusted by Pepsi and Celine Dion
dropped by Chrysler. Can you say good money after bad? I worked
on the Victory Tour when Time-Life broke the photo of Mikey Jackson
drinking Diet Coke at the recording session for "We Are The
World." How exactly did that "define" the Pepsi Brand?
If Greatness By Association worked, we would have more ex-roadies
and groupies wining Grammies and more make-up people and personal
trainers wining Oscars for Best Performance by a Member of the Entourage
( Jon Peters and Steven Seagal not withstanding.)
Brand
Character doesn't define the Brand. Corporate Character defines
the Brand. WorldCom can change it's name to MCI for the next hundred
years and still not sidestep the stench. Flagstar can fire everybody
at Denny's and still not be embraced by a single black person. And
Martha Stewart Living? I'm not running out to buy that stock. Are
you?
The
character of a brand is built by its customers not its managers.
Apple kicked out Steve Jobs and cut its own throat, yet when Eisner
thought he was bigger than Disney, he took a round to the head.
So
what is it that builds a great brand if not marketing, advertising,
experience and character? Mythology builds great brands. And where
do all mythologies begin? With one simple tactic that was used many
years ago when McCann-Ericson built Coca-Cola into the greatest
brand the world has ever known. The truth, well told.
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"January
Is The New September."
If
you have been keeping up with that protracted car wreck that
is Network Television then you know that the start of this
season and the November Sweeps were nothing for the Network
execs to write home about. Last season NBC and Fox were battling
for first and second place in the all-important race for adults
18-49. This season promises to be more of the same.
NBC was
down 12 percent from the first nine weeks of the season last
year with viewers 18-49, posting a piss poor 3.9 rating. That
brought the Peacock in third among the six networks. Fox didn't
do much better dropping down 9 percent to a pitiful 3.8 in
this key demo.
But the
Fat lady has yet to sing and so far CBS is the one to beat
with a 4.1 which is a screaming 7 percent climb from last
season, followed by the turn around champ ABC who jumped 5
percent to a respectable 4.0. What's got everybody nervous
is that the CBS win in the 18-49 demo for five of the first
nine
weeks this season, is one more week than it won in the big
money race for the entire last season. Where
does this war of decimals and percentage points play out?
Well normally the November Sweeps are where the rubber meets
the road in the high stakes Poker game that are the Upfront
Ad Markets committed to last May. However the first 20 days
days of the sweeps saw CBS pulling 3.7 million more viewers
a night than NBC for a 12 percent lead among 18-49 viewers.
ABC pulled up third among 18-49 viewers with an 8 percent
increase over last year. That left Fox down 3 percent over
last year for fourth place. And this with their boy winning
the Presidency and an O'Reilly sex scandal to sweeten the
pot. And as usual WB and UPN squabbling over dead last.
So now
it's up to the Peacock Empire to strike back against the forces
of the Big Eye. And fight back they will with the announcement
of five new scripted shows and five nonscripted shows that
will premiere in January.
"These
aren't just shows we threw together, but shows we developed
and talked about during last May's upfront," claimed NBC entertainment
president Kevin Reilly in MediaWeek this past Monday. So that
says that with the absence of the "Friends" powerhouse,
NBC went to the mattresses with great television moments like
those found in LAX and the two other shows that faced the
fate of all turkeys right before Thanksgiving...for the purpose
of...warming up their declining share of the 18-49 audience.
Hmmm.
"January
is the new September," Reilly went on to say, stressing that
midseason premieres are more important than those at the start
of the season. "I completely believe that," says he.
Now if
I were a network TV advertiser's trusted advisor ( which I
am) I would be whispering in my client's ear right about now,
( which I have) that's not what they told us in the upfronts
for the fall season last May. But NBC is not alone in this
belief.
"We have
had the same difficulties as past seasons after baseball,"
says Fox entertainment president Gail Berman. "But if we are
flat or slightly down at the end of the fourth quarter, we
feel like we have our big guns coming out, ready and poised,
while the other networks have used up their big guns." So
even the other nets thought that LAX and Big Loser were the
"Big Guns."
Now remember,
were talking millions and millions of ad dollars going down
on this crap shoot. It makes you wonder exactly who the advertisers
are using to handicap their bets. Here. This will give you
some idea.
"I'm
still optimistic about Fox," claims Laura Caraccioli-Davis,
senior VP/director of media buying firm Starcom Entertainment
in MediaWeek. "Fox traditionally has always come up with something
unexpected in mid-season, although I agree that there is not
much of a glimmer of hope right now." Hmmm. "I'm still optimistic..."
followed by " not much of a glimmer of hope." Step
right up and hedge your million dollar bets, ladies and gentlemen.
And the
guy who said that he was pulling his company's ( Mitsubishi)
money out of network television, after the upfronts last May
is now unemployed? What in the world is wrong with this picture?
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What's
Going On? A
few weeks back
I happened to read that TiVO boxes or a similar commercial zapping
technology would be present in at least 33% of domestic households
by the end of next year. (That was before they announced the abandonment
of that product feature that made us all tremble.)
I
also read that the proliferation of broadband and the availability
of video on demand over VideOIP would be wired into 72% of domestic
households by 2006.
Add
to that the projected 22% slide in network viewership that has been
pegged for 2006 and you have some fairly dark days ahead for the
venerable 30 second television spot.
People
like me are telling their clients ( and people like you) that the
giant sucking sound they are about to hear is the bulk of the American
Public looking for electronic holes in the sand to stick their heads
into to escape the coming hard times ahead.
Then
telling them to get in the hole business as fast as they can.
Entertainment
is poised to become the new opiate of the masses. And the smart
money is already staking out their claim on this volatile mental
real estate. Madison Avenue is clueless. Park Avenue is beginning
to pay attention. The Networks are loosing ground fast. New players
are looking at a global playing field. It's starting to get interesting.
Stay
Tuned.
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